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LGBTQIA+ Information: LGBTQIA+ Coming out resources

Books and information for people dealing with sexuality and gender issues.

Figuring Out If Coming Out Is Right For You 

Coming out is a big deal! After you’ve made the decision to come out, the next question is figuring out who to tell. As mentioned before, this should be someone you trust and feel like will support you.

If you’re not sure how someone will respond to you coming out, you could get a sense of that person’s attitudes by asking them about their attitudes towards LGBTQIA-related topics in the news, about LGBTQIA celebrities, or even LGBTQIA stories and characters.

Think about why you want to come out to a person and why now. Is this the best time for you and the person you want to tell? What factors could make the process easier or more challenging?

After reading through this guide, you may decide that this is not a good time for you to come out and that’s ok. 

Planning Ahead

Planning ahead

Remember that coming out is a big deal and should be handled thoughtfully and with care. 

Consider how you would address different responses to your coming out discussion. Some people may surprise you with their openness, while others may not be as understanding as you imagined. Plan on how you would respond to these various scenarios.

Remember that your safety comes first. Think how coming out to someone may change your relationship with them or how it could affect your living situation and financial support. If these could be affected by your coming out, make plans for how you would address these changes.

Think about having a space or support group to visit afterwards. Coming out can prompt a lot of thoughts and feelings, and you may feel the need to share these with a supportive friend or group. 

Realize that even if you decide not to come out now you do not have to keep your LGBTQIA identity a secret forever. It simply means that your unique circumstances right now are not the best time for you to come out to this particular person or group of people.

Recognize that circumstances may never be truly ideal for you to come out and the process doesn’t have to be perfect. The important thing is that it feels right for you to share this information at this moment.

You may not be ready to identify with a specific community. That’s ok! Perhaps you just want to share your feelings with someone and that you’re still figuring things out. There’s no rush.

Identifying yourself can be a powerful way to affirm who you are to yourself and to others, but remember that it’s ok if you aren’t sure how you identify. 

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